So school is starting tomorrow for me. Did it just get hotter in here or is that just me? Personally, the first day back to school is extremely stressful for me, even though there’s really no reason for it to be. What’s even more idiotic is that I literally only have one class tomorrow (like wow my life is so hard) and I still feel like I’ll die. I do have anxiety and it goes the extra mile in these types of situations. I know I won’t know anyone in this class, which will force me to talk to people and pretend I’m totally chill when in reality I’m dying. Not to mention this one class is Speech. I heard in some classes they make you get up and just talk about random facts about you on the first day, which weirds me out. To be honest, who cares? Like wow you like pizza? So do I, and that kid and that kid and oh wow look at that, nearly every kid in here. I don’t want that to sound rude or anything, but literally I couldn’t care less that you like to go surfing on the weekends (lol I’m still salty towards surfers since high school) (lol salty..ocean..okay I’ll stop).
I also know for a fact that I’ll have an anxiety attack in my car before class. Not only will this happen tomorrow, but pretty much every day for the first few weeks. That’s a lot of freaking out, and honestly who has the time?
Overall, Speech isn’t going to kill me, but the combo of all my classes just might. Last semester was really brutal, with a whopping 17 units (12 being full time student)(yah I don’t know what I was thinking either). At least this semester it dropped down to 15.5 units; mind you I’m still not jumping for joy or anything. I think I’m semi-traumatized by last semester, which just makes me more and more nervous.
Not to mention I’ve been having weird-ass dreams lately about college. Now, I normally have dreams every night, but these dreams I’ve been having are not very normal at all. I only remember 2 of them, thank god. The first one was about me going to a nudist college (is there such a thing?) and they all hated me and stalked me because I wore clothes. In addition, they would break into my dorm at night and act really creepy, like they wanted to kill me, haha cool. The other dream was that I had a really mean teacher who assigned me a seat right behind a fan that was directly facing me and forcing my eyes closed. She kept asking me questions but I was like ‘bish I can’t see’. So yah, obviously I’m totally cool with going back to college and totally not stressed at all haha
Anyways, I also want to continue blogging while going to school fulltime and maintaining a social life, which actually sounds impossible now that I think of it. I’m going to try my very best to keep up, because I truly love the blogosphere. This blog has become very important to me this last month, and I don’t want to just throw it all away. Even though I won’t post everyday, I do plan to post at least once a week. I think that’s doable, but I can’t wait to be proven wrong one week and feel so bad. So don’t quote me on this! But I’m going to try people!
If you got this far, you’re a babe. Thanks for reading my rambles.