This is a very important, possibly the most important, post I have (or will ever have) on my blog. Over the past week, my friends have come to quite a serious debate that has changed us forever. Some debate over politics, some over equal rights, some over global warming, some over what to eat for dinner, but this is the most emotionally-exhausting and mentally-draining topic I have ever faced in my many years of taking sides in global debates. Our debate impacts every type of demographic, generation, and gender. This is the Great TP debate.
**I was introduced to this eye-opening, life-changing debate through this video by one of my friends. Don’t mind the title, it is irrelevant. I recommend giving it a watch to truly understand the meaning of life and why this debate has been killing me inside. (the debate starts at 0:43)
The act in question: Do you scrunch, or do you fold? (when you wipe your ass after doing your business)
Take your time. Let it soak in (not literally). Think about it.
Now personally, I go into a debate with an open mind (which I would appreciate if you all would do as well). However, when I heard this question, I believed the answer was obvious, as I thought to myself, ‘I scrunch, you scrunch, we all scrunch’. To my dismay, friends of many years (aka Collin and Bryan in the video) said the words that broke my heart; they are folders. At first, I denied it: No, I love these people, they must have meant scrunch when they mistakenly said fold. Then I started to get angry, as if I never really knew these people. How could they have betrayed me like this? Years of my life were wasted by these fucking folders. After anger, I turned to bargaining and seeking for a way to have helped these poor souls: if only I had known sooner, may be I could have helped scrunch them in the right direction. Then I fell into a depression: friendless, no one understands the truth, no one gets me.
But then I heard Daniel (in the video) say he fucking scrunches and I felt acceptance.
Mind you, we have debated multiple times after I watched the video. Every time I talk to these people it always turns into “you fucking folder” “Who the fuck would scrunch?”. Also, I would like to tell you guys that I have asked many people their take on this debate, and my results are literally 50/50.
SO I NEED YOU GUYS.
Don’t feel pressured to say you scrunch, I won’t judge you (after I convince you to become a scruncher)(jk)(or am I), I simply want your honest answers. Right now I know an exactly equal amount of scrunchers versus folders, which is unacceptable. I need an answer to this debate. I have lost sleep. I have lost appetite. I have lost my sanity. If you care about me at all, this is the time for you to help me.
All I am asking is (for a little respect, just a little bit..like I said I lost my sanity):
Do you scrunch, or do you fold? (just to clarify once more, I am talking about when you wipe your ass after using the toilet)
May the odds be ever in my scrunching favor.