Poppy Rant (4.24.17)

Worms,

It appears that many seemingly wonderful people do not know what a fucking poppy is. Aka the California state flower. Aka help me.

Just to start off, this rant has nothing to do with this being that goes by Poppy on Youtube–>

Also, I intend on keeping this rant short because ha college is getting hard right about now and I’m on ‘break’ from studying. (I also have a little bit of a headache from eating so much fucking ice cream, rip me)(I know, my life is really hard)(feel bad for me)


So for those of you who are uncultured slop, these are what Californian poppies are. Pretty, I know. Me too.

Personally, I don’t consider myself very knowledgeable when it comes to flowers (even though I absolutely adore them). The one cool flower fact I know is that Holland is really protective over their red tulip bulbs (not even the flowers themselves, but the bulbs). I really only know the basics, you know, like the ones everyone is supposed to know. Yes, poppies are not as well-known as the basic rose or lily or whatever the fuck, but come on people.

So when it came up that my boyfriend did not have any clue of what a poppy was- well you can guess what my face looked like, probably along the lines of “who have I been dating this entire time” as I yelled, yes yelled, “POPPIES ARE THE FUCKING STATE FLOWER” in a car full of friends. Now some may say “woah, that’s a bit much don’t you think? You’re poor, poor friends” but literally nobody in the car was phased by my freak out (which makes me question my sanity even more). Nobody even addressed me yelling at the top of my lungs in a ‘compact luxury vehicle’ as my friend, the owner of such car, would call it (and don’t you mess that up or else he would be the one losing his shit)(may be that would make me look better though, so like fuck that car am I right).

I’ll admit, I was getting pretty worked up about this whole poppy debacle. So worked up in fact, I started sweating and somewhat hyperventilating. Yes, that’s right, I was losing my mind over a fucking flower (in my defense it is the state flower, damn it). I was so shocked I just started cracking up, because my mind doesn’t process any other response (I will crack up at anything)(you know how I always write ‘lol’ or ‘aha’, yah that’s because I laugh all the damn time and I’m being real whichu)(you’re welcome)(lol)(okay that one was just to be an asshole).

After everything cooled off, I still teased the bf about not knowing THE FUCKING STATE FLOWER. FUCK.

A couple of days ago I went on a hike with some friends to see the “super bloom” (which  if you’re not from around here, basically it’s when spring comes around and a shit ton of poppies and other spring flowers grow all over the damn place). However, I knew there would be no poppies in sight, because I had been driving around some super bloom sites and there were no poppies to be found. That’s alright though, I let my friends believe in whatever bull they desired.

Then, today, the loveliest of days, my dearest friend (from the hike prior) asks me “Poppies are those purple ones, right?”

Oh, bless that naïve little thing.

I then started bursting in laughter (I told you people, my brain doesn’t know how to deal  with this kind of shit) and freaked a bit. HOW DO PEOPLE IN CALIFORNIA NOT KNOW WHAT A FUCKING POPPY IS? I then explained to her that our poppies were orange, and not the yellow shits on the hills or whatever purple things she was referencing.

Yes, there are such things as purple poppies, but bitch not here.

I never realized how invested I was in flowers, but I’m going to say it one more time: STATE. FLOWER.

It’s fine, I’m fine, it’s whatever, state flower, uncultured, I’m good.

Please tell me someone knows what a poppy is.

-Alli

 

 

 

 

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22 thoughts on “Poppy Rant (4.24.17)

  1. Probably because no one pays attention to their surroundings in that smartphone age. And no one remembers what they learn in school anymore. Sad…

    I got some California poppy seeds at the fair a few years ago. I planted them. Nothing came up. I digit about them until last year when one came up, and this year I have three.

    Liked by 1 person

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