Speaking My Mind [Written Audio Clip](6.21.17)

Hey worms!

So I decided to do something a little different for this post. Instead of just writing my thoughts, I decided I would speak them- to myself, alone, while coloring Pusheen (I swear I’m cool). Writing is good and all, but I feel like I’m even more genuine when I’m speaking my mind rather than through written words- so that’s what this is. This is a very rambly post, but I found myself laughing a lot while making it (I think I’m funny- it’s ridiculous, I know) so I hope it will make you guys laugh, too! Without further ado, this is: Me Rambling While Coloring in my Pusheen Coloring Book.

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“Um okay, this is weird, I’m not going to lie, this is fucking strange, but I’m just going to color in Pusheen, and I guess talk- in my phone. Yah, that’s how this is going. I wonder if I’ll be able to hear myself, that should be fun to find out. Anyways, right now I’m coloring in a petal behind Pusheen because what better thing to do on a Thursday afternoon at *checks phone* exactly 7:00 pm. You know what else is a 7? Me. Like 0.7 (zero point seven), not even.

“You know what I don’t like about color pencils? You have to kind of color in the same direction all the time, and I find that limiting and not my style- *gets interrupted by neighborhood child literally screaming* Oh-oh my god, I don’t.. welcome to my life!

“Done with that color because fuck that shit- what’s the name of this color? *dies at name* okay, this orange colored pencil is named Ivory, um somebody help me right now because that cannot be right. Orange for Ivory? Okay whenever I think of ivory I think of the elephant ivory trade. I had to do a whole speech on elephant ivory trades for like 5 minutes or something stupid like that in high school- I’m not a fan of the ivory trades- but like is anybody really? Like, good on you for not supporting ivory trades, like aren’t you fucking special.  You don’t want to kill an elephant? Wow? Like you’re the only one? I guess I just down play myself 100% of the time but like it’s fine.

“What color matches this orange ivory that literally does not exist in real life? *sings Bohemian Rhapsody* Is this the real life, is this just fantasy? Ooh! There’s a pink called.. Carmine? Okay why does this one get a name and the other one gets called Ivory? Car-mine? But like why does this one get a name? If someone was named Ivory, they’d be a fucking idiot. Fuck. What am I saying? All I’m saying is that Ivory would be a fucking stupid name, like if you named your kid, I don’t know like, Blue Ivory or North West? Is the shade too real? Maybe. Maybe I should just leave right now, what has it been, 4 minutes? Yah it’s time for me to go.

“I wonder what 4 minutes looks like on a blogpost (future me: a lot), like writing out 4 minutes of talking. I mean, is this talking or is this just me struggling with words for like 4 minutes, almost 5 wow, time flies when your talking to yourself and coloring Pusheen. I must sound so freaking cool right now, like can’t touch this. *starts singing Can’t Touch This*. Also if you couldn’t tell, I kind of sing a lot, and by a lot I mean too much. Like nobody asked for all the singing references, nobody wants them and half the time nobody gets them. My friends, bless their hearts, sometimes they humor me, sometimes they get it, like they aren’t complete idiots but- *laughs* when you have to say but.

“You know, this flower? Not the cutest. I just used this yellow- Golden Yellow- okay have they lost all interest in actually naming these? This Ivory that is fucking orange, this Golden Yellow- you know, with respect to them, this is a very golden yellow- and this Carmine is like a magenta- whoever this magenta bish is, I do not support her.

“You know, I think I’m going to go with a blue center- no- mm- yah- decisions are hard. What in the world do I do? Okay, blue it is, the center is now blue. There’s no going back ha because you know ha color pencils are so permanent ha. It’s fine.

“This has been 7 minutes of talking now. Let’s actually talk about something right? That might be fun- wait.. this blue is literally just called Dark Blue. Did somebody fuck with my color pencils? (future me: literally bish who the fuck would mess with your coloring pencils)

“Who am I? Next Q&A lol. Honestly that Q&A was fun, I liked answering your questions. To be honest, I kind of forget my answers..and the questions, but I had a good time writing it so, that’s a thing right? That’s a thing.

“I just realized that none of these colors make a pretty flower. But are we going for pretty or are we going for me? *laughs* We’re going for me.

“This one’s called Light Violet, and let me tell you this is a very dark indigo so somebody was high when they were naming these, clearly.

“People are living their lives right now, what am I doing? Coloring Pusheen and talking to myself and judging color pencils’ names. Yah, I’ll put that on my resumé, totally. All this potential. All this fucking shit going for her (referring to me, aha). Also, I don’t know how much I’m going to be cussing in this (future me: a lot lol), because I kind of cuss a lot in person. It happens when I’m comfortable, and I’m comfortable just sitting here talking to myself ha, ha crazy right? I know. So yah, I might be cussing more than usual, and if so I might (no)- I might write it a little differently (no, I’m not) so that I don’t offend literally everyone in the world. Maybe just half, yah I’m good with half, okay no I’m not okay with half, that would be so fucked, that’s like an entire gender…”

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So that was the first 10 minutes of my audio- yah only 10 minutes lol I guess I talk a lot. The entire clip itself is around 40 minutes so I’m going to split this up in 3 or 4 parts! This first part was mostly random rambles, but I do actually talk about things later on, and you’ll se that in the other parts! I hope you liked this type of post, if so please let me know in the comments!

-Alli

 

**I missed posting yesterday aha (if you don’t laugh you cry, am I right?) so I’ll make up for it this weekend(: